Saturday 17 February, 2001
At the beginning of today’s group we talked about how scripts in relationships can be complementary. Without realising it we draw people to us who will complement our scripts, and we in turn complement theirs. This makes it all self-perpetuating. In a similar way that genes in nature assemble things which reproduce, making more of the same genes, scripts cause situations which ensure their continued existence.
Throughout the day, the conversations we had around the issues which arose led me to a number of conclusions:
- We are not here to provide solutions, or ways out for each other, we are here to empower each other, form relationships with each other and provide support for each other such that, with the aid of the rest of the group, we can all help ourselves.
- I appreciated the power of writing things down and also, as Ishwar was later to highlight, just how much we forget and how we convince ourselves that we won’t forget.
- I am not in this environment to be liked or to be popular, or to say what people want to hear. I am here to support and be supported, to challenge and be challenged. I am here to learn and grow and to allow others to learn and grow.
Later, I read my entire appraisal (Feb. 9-15). Karaj had asked me to do so because it contained many of the lessons from the whole year (see also ‘Rules’):
- dreams become reality
- futility of comparisons – not only with others but also with myself and my progress with my back
- relax, take things slowly – sleep when tired
- don’t overdo anything
- don’t get cocky
- we connect with people who will perpetuate our scripts
- the power of the mind to sabotage – I can become healthy in an instant but my mind gets in the way
- don’t worry about ‘how’
- lay the foundations and things will happen
- stay in the present and the future will take care of itself
- the truth cannot be told
- slow down towards the end…of anything
- recognise and celebrate achievements
- there’s no need to prove what you already are
- be open, transparent, polite, courteous, but be ruthless
- release the past, let it go and leave it where it is
- contact with men, relationships and the exchange of male energy
- presence is enough to influence situations