Be More Forceful

Sunday 15 September, 2002

Karaj and I chatted about me creating my own space away from him over the next 4-5 years. This means I am fully in charge and can create my own destiny. Right now I am where I was at the bank, setting myself up to leave. Through intense challenges I will become my own man. Worse challenges will come from the group as they harangue me. Don’t personalise the challenges, take them as opportunities.

Ishwar challenged Dev to plan relaxation into his schedule for the week. Dev did not hear him. I prompted Ishwar three times to pursue him but it didn’t happen. There needs to be more seriousness and forcefulness from me in these situations. It requires certainty and responsibility. During the remainder of the day I saw how Dev isolates himself as I do, rather than use the team around him; and why Priya, with her Be Strong‘ driver is irritated by my emotions, but only when I indulge in them.

Summary: My early anxiety gave way as I took charge and communicated my agenda. I still missed some items out though, in my reluctance to impose myself (Please Others’ driver). The feeling of togetherness and belonging we felt when I fed back the love and support from yesterday was unexpected; a sign of the power we/I can generate. I need to be more assertive and less frivolous. Too much joking detracts from the hard work which is necessary for me to move forward. It was nice to see Simran coming more and more back into the world, coming alive again.


Leave a Reply