Monthly Feedback – November 2002

Saturday 30 November, 2002

Karaj’s feedback to me for November:

01. The time has come for you to meet challenges which are normal and natural. You went through your first storming session, which has been simmering for many months now. You have a clear choice in front of you: either you sort yourself out or you stay with the pain. All I can do is show you the crossroads. Whichever direction you choose is really no concern of mine.
02. Handled complex logistics successfully and then went into discounting.
03. The first time in months that we managed to get out and do some work in the garden. What it exposed was a lot of deficiencies of the system and also the fantasies of who we think we are. Working with tools which were dangerous, under dangerous conditions and a large number of things missing. or mislaid. There is a need for an aggressive reality check. Again, a successful completion to the day but no joyousness at the end of the day.
04. A complex day, executed well. The issue is, the more complex the days are the more we have an overall picture and the more you will be able to see the purpose and excitement of life.
05. Out for most of the day. Wrote a good letter facilitating a relationship with Calvin.
06. You are doing a lot of work but there is little or no understanding of the purpose of the work and, therefore, you are playing emotional games which is taking up a lot of energy. This is unnecessary, creating a ‘chickenhead’ mentality. [This was Karaj’s term for running around like a headless chicken.]
07. Working steadily. Again, my issue is that you need to understand what work we are doing.
08. Noticeable today that you miss opportunities to flow with life. You dream of football and goals but when opportunities come in life to deliver a brilliant pass or score goals you cannot relate to the game, never mind taking the pass and scoring the goal. A lot of energy wasted in noise.
09. Much more clarity about how you make yourself wrong. It looks like you have a natural instinct to make yourself wrong as it became more and more obvious in the group work. You thereby create more and more work for yourself and then blame the world for your problems. The issue is whether you see that or not. You need to be aware of the work, which needs to be done so that you don’t end up doing it and, therefore, do not end up as someone who is sacrificing. Others need to do the work.
10. Illustrated a classic example of how to make oneself wrong and thereby create an immense drama. I hope you have seen an alternative, which is a simpler way.
11. .Worked hard. Very full day. Achieved a number of diverse tasks including, for the first time, taking charge of the office, seeing to the client by organising the appointment, interviewing the client and making notes, as well as working with me in raising clear questions.
12. Rested in the morning and worked well throughout the afternoon and early evening to achieve the minimum targets for the day. Socialised well in the evening. You talked as well as kept quiet and in your quietness you saw people’s games and that they are messed up too. Also saw that you are okay.
13. Worked hard and from the appraisals you are reading it is becoming clear that there is no point in going round and round in circles because it costs a lot of time and energy and creates stress. Time to be simple and get on with life. Steadily working away all day. A good day.
14. Very steady work throughout the day and at the same time confronting the negativity.
15. Worked on many tasks. All diverse. Managed a full day. Used Simran and others in the group to help him out. He needs to start preparing for the weekend and looking forward to the weekend for the company.
16. Supportive in the women’s group. All of the background work required to support the group was carried out by him without any dramas and with the support of Dev. A number of tasks were carried out from the ESHC agenda items. There were minor issues which will be dealt with.
17. Worked steadily and today for the first time you were clear in your challenge and you dealt with people appropriately. A complicated day handled well.
18. Good, steady day. Carrying on at a steady pace. Showed maturity by not raising an alarm when I did not turn up. Handled the office and the house in a mature way.
19. You are here to do the work and it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you realise that all the work has a purpose which is to meet your life goal with every task you do here. And every task is the same. You showed irritation but I hope you have taken my comment on board about just getting on with the work.
20. Again, handled a complex day well and we managed to achieve 90% of the standard for the day. In the evening you went back to your original self of wanting to be mollycoddled and nobody supported you in the group to get you ready for London and you let it go. That is a clear indication that you have no respect for your work or yourself and that is incompatible with working here.
21. Worked steadily and in the evening you got cocky and really misrepresented yourself and your work. Supported Calvin. What is needed is much more confrontation because the clients here are starting to abuse the resources and take everything for granted.
22. You worked with Priya on the product brainstorm but you did not acknowledge her input. Instead, you acted totally incongruently of what was being said. This seems to be your normal style. Arun has similar experiences to the point where she had difficulties wanting to see you. The challenge for you is to sort out your issues with successful women whom you cannot manipulate.
25. Very negative day, trying to resolve a lot of admin issues. We didn’t have much chance to talk. You need to work on having absolute clarity when things are going wrong. The worst thing to do is to take anything seriously, because when negativity comes it will confuse, and in confusion we will never get to the real cause of the negativity. Given that you also have knowledge of the process, these are dangerous times in which a person can assume they know what is going on and also starts making assessments. This is extremely destructive.
26. A major milestone in how your feelings about being irritated by a little girl on the bus brought up all the issues and feelings with women. This is a newsletter article. It is so important. It also illustrates the danger of knowledge – how you almost explained away a first-hand experience with second hand knoweldge and almost discounted an important experience. That experience is worth many books.
27. Contretemps. At last you are being congruent. You are sharing your issues clearly instead of trying to impress. We can do business. You organised the whole evening. People stayed here.
28. Quiet day. You really need to grow up and understand the contribution you make, instead of messing around and irritating me unnecessarily (see letter to Francis).
29. Very slow start. Extremely tired. After talking and verbalising, we started work in the late afternoon. Achieved steady, successful, managed results.
30. Much more congruent. Illustrated congruency with you behaviour which allowed you to see your effectiveness without playing games. In your own words: ‘I do not have to please others‘, (and, therefore, get into games). ‘Irrespective of where I am, I can be civil.

General Comments

  • A difficult month in which the storming has come to the fore and the games have become much more conscious. We should be able to deal with these issues rather than skirting around.
  • This opens up the possibilities of successful interventions.
  • Supervision is not being taken seriously and there seems to be a deliberate attempt to derail the process of the success, which has been painstakingly built over the last 18 months. You have to look at what is your responsibility in this state of affairs.

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