TS 1 – Behaviour Patterns

Monday 18 April, 2016

On the afternoon of the first Tuesday Seminar, I sat in the sunshine outside my favourite café to prepare myself. I had my book with me and as I flicked through it, willing inspiration to leap from its pages, a man approached me from the next table and asked where I got it from. He explained that he had read the café’s copy on occasion and was interested to read more. I smiled, informed him that I had written it, and invited him to join me. He sat down and we chatted for an hour. Later that evening he came to the seminar, brought his girlfriend with him, and when it was all over he purchased a copy of the book.

Below is a brief summary of the seminar’s contents, with links to the blog entries I referred to that evening. (The relevant page numbers of the book are in brackets.)

The Power Of Intention  (p.543)

This is the case for every seminar: Each participant should create a level of clarity about why they are attending and/or what they want to take from the session. When you do that, you make things happen; you bring things into existence; and you are more likely to make a connection with whatever is said by any of the people present.

It’s My Script  (p.50)

We have greater control over our lives than we realise. It’s easy to look at our childhood and place the responsibility for who we have become on our environment. But that is not even half the story, because from day one we have been making decisions about how we are going to have our needs met. It means that we have already decided on our life strategies during the first few years of existence, and thereafter we just repeat the same patterns over and over again. (Victim/Rescuer patterns are a common example.) Many of us hardly realise how much scope we have to influence our lives; but as soon as we realise that we have been responsible for our strategies from the beginning, it becomes easier to take control of our lives.

20 Minutes In 20 Years  (see ‘Strokes‘ p.638)

Life is obviously more complex than what I am about to write, but when we reduce the creation of our patterns to this simple concept, it begins to make more sense why we do so many of the things we do. So here goes: We crave attention. That’s it; and the very early habits we create in order to garner the attention we desire, persist throughout our lives. Unless, of course, we see them for what they are.

A Pattern’s Course  (p.397)

This is a personal story about my early fondness for dramas and how they allowed me to create the kinds of emotions I seemed addicted to at the time. It can be an interesting exercise to trace the source of our behaviour patterns, but it is not necessary in order to grow. It is enough to see what is happening. Then, if you can predict when your behaviour patterns are likely to be triggered, you can be prepared for what is likely to happen, and reduce the likelihood of being caught out by habits which have accompanied you your entire life.

Changing Patterns  (p.150)

It is important to know that our patterns are not set in stone. It is possible to change them. Furthermore, a change in one area of your life can have a knock-on effect in other areas, too. Once again, the key to it all is awareness. And a little perseverance.

That same afternoon there was someone else present. A young woman, sitting within earshot, became involved in the conversation. The three of us chatted easily. Near the end of our interaction, she explained that she had some camera experience and offered to edit the video I was planning to make of the seminar. It is her work which you can see in video below (and also here). When I reflect on those two chance meetings on a sunny afternoon just hours before the first seminar, it makes me think that if such people cross your path as you prepare to embark on a new venture, then you can be pretty sure you’re on the right road. Furthermore, you may well have a clearer intention than you realise.

Additional posts: People’s Patterns | Seeing My Patterns | Destructive Patterns Reframed | Patterns Surfacing

 

 


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