No Need To Prove Myself

Friday 31 July, 2020

Someone asked me what I do. I was hesitant at first, but engaged the question with a few lines of familiar introduction. Then someone else sat down between us, interrupting our conversation just at the point where I usually move up through the gears and talk enthusiastically, if not passionately, about my work. At first I was annoyed, but the interlude gave me a chance to return to my initial hesitancy and observe – perhaps for the first time – what it felt like to step back from selling myself.

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The Harmony Of Acceptance

Sunday 26 July, 2020

As I wrote in Shared Experience, it felt like the other two had not changed in the intervening 16 years. I wondered whether I had changed at all. In their eyes probably not, but I know I have grown since I first met them. But then I wondered whether any of us ever change. Maybe we just spend our lives layering over who we really are, and that any improvement we achieve is either just an appreciation of the layers themselves, or a gradual revealing of our original essence.

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The Wisdom’s In The Body

Friday 17 July, 2020

Another session of body work brought me closer to understanding what I need to be doing. Together with the Qi Gong practice, which is still more sporadic than regular, I am seeing – and more importantly, feeling – what it means to spend more time in my body and less time in my head. The difference is astounding and highlights how we are missing who we truly are, in favour of who we think we are. By connecting more fully with our body we connect more fully with our world. Not only that, the body has a great deal to tell us. As she would later say, ‘The wisdom’s in the body.

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Focus On Love. That’s All.

Saturday 11 July, 2020

I had a conversation with Karaj about the previous post. We talked about love and he told me to focus on nothing else. For a day or two afterwards, I was left with a profound connection to a love which I have never fully embraced, nor nurtured, nor deliberately explored. His message was that I should acknowledge that I am deeply loved, and that I need to see more clearly what is always there.

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No More.

Monday 22 June, 2020

Someone once told me about a belief in the absence of proportionality. It means that whatever your action, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, it changes everything. (I wrote about something similar in the piece, We Change The World.)  Essentially, if you do good to someone, you do good to the whole world. Nothing is considered small. Every gesture contributes to the whole. Everything you do makes a difference.

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A Toddler’s Mantra

Wednesday 17 June, 2020

The story I wrote about in Finding Common Ground was influenced by two things: something I tell my three-year-old regularly, and something about the polarity of argument I have learnt from Charles Eisenstein. This post is about the former. It’s a record of how saying the same thing over and over again came to influence my response to anger. My response was not to defend myself, nor to hit back, nor bite the other person as most toddlers do at some point in their development. It was to come from a place of love, because that is what I want for my son.

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Shared Experience

Thursday 11 June, 2020

For the first time in 16 years, the three of us sat together and chatted. We hadn’t spoken in this constellation since I left my work with Karaj on New Year’s Eve 2003. I was struck by how much neither of them had changed. It made me think that maybe I hadn’t changed either. Had all the work we did during those intense years been for nothing? It was only a fleeting thought because I know that I am different to how I used to be. I know I have improved in ways I would not have been able to, had I not spent the four years with Karaj and the others.

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Finding Common Ground

Tuesday 9 June, 2020

I am not one for courting controversy (not any more, at least) and have little interest in posting anything political or contentious online. My writings are, in some measure, influenced by a lesson I learnt in my early 20s – that when people judge you, confirmation bias will drag your past behaviour, comments you made, even unrelated factors, into an unfair and unwavering condemnation. And so it is that I have been content to write about the strength of personal development and offer my contribution to a better world that way.

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Watch Yourself

Saturday 30 May, 2020

The title of this post is usually an instruction to take care, or look out for something which might be about to happen. However, in the context of this post it’s about exactly what it says: watching yourself. Specifically, it is about observing yourself from a distance, in the same way you might casually observe someone across a crowded room. It’s fascinating, at times mesmerising, and the feeling it generates is a mixture of the ordinary and the mind-blowing.

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A Conversation About Dying

Tuesday 19 May, 2020

Two days ago I talked with someone about death and dying. It was an open, accepting and honest conversation full of liberation and beauty. The person with whom I spoke has suffered so much for so many years that, even at their relatively young age, they are ready for an end to it all. If life happens to improve soon, then great, that’s one way for the pain to end. But they are no longer holding out any hope, having already sailed over that particular horizon. Another way for the pain to end is death, and the more we talked about it and embraced the idea as a realistic possibility imbued with permission and blessing, the lighter and more beautiful the conversation became.

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Finding Activism In Art

Friday 15 May, 2020

For the third assignment (after The Space Between Stories and Make Peace With Your Truth) we were asked to seek the activism in the art we produce: ‘Describe an event where you took inspired action, and that created a result beyond anything you could have forced… not necessarily knowing how or whether it would “work,” but nonetheless operating from a feeling of inspiration, purpose, guidance — and maybe a bit of humour.

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The Richness Of Not-Knowing

Wednesday 29 April, 2020

What if you abandoned everything you thought you knew, relinquished your beliefs, and became more acquainted with not-knowing? It’s not a commonly expressed idea, but every time I hear it, it stands out, offering an enticing alternative to our conditioned way of life. It’s a sanctuary, but we treat it like a taboo because from a very early age we fear being mocked or punished or disadvantaged if we don’t know.

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Make Peace With Your Truth

Wednesday 22 April, 2020

This is the second assignment from the course mentioned in the previous post. The session itself was entitled, Navigating Uncertainty, and the main message of the lesson was not necessarily that we need take any action, nor that we can passively expect something to come our way, but that we are more likely to act ‘when we make peace with the truth‘. The assignment, therefore, was this:

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The Space Between Stories

Tuesday 7 April, 2020

As part of an online course offered by Charles Eisenstein, I have been prompted to share a personal example of the space between stories. (For more information on what that means, see the post, New Journal, New Story.) Other people on the course have written about abrupt, life-changing experiences, but mine is nothing like that. It is about a comment someone made which was different to anything I’d heard before.

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