Praise Myself

Thursday 6 April, 2000

Some of my problems are rooted in my desire for people to like me. I’m not a desperate case but I do notice the prominence of a need for the confirmation of others. It’s not that I dislike myself but it is clear there is a lack of something inside for me to look for it outside. I am not yet comfortable with who I am – not yet at ease with myself.

If it were some sort of (survival) strategy, then looking for and receiving praise and confirmation from others might mean I wouldn’t have to work so hard on myself. But I do. It may be that I don’t praise myself (enough). It is not in my nature to praise myself and I do tend to put the feelings of others first. Well, I’m intelligent enough to know that this has to change. I must learn to attend to my own needs and to praise myself where possible.

Today, for example, I have done very well to get up early, do my exercises and walk the four miles to work. It is a beautiful day and I am a beautiful person. I am a greater person than I give myself credit for. Others can see it so it should be obvious to me. A relevant point, however, is that both my cultural script and elements of my family script have a tendency towards negativity. I need to break out of that negative conditioning and emphasise the positives.

Related posts: Look for the Positives | How Easily the Mind Goes to Work

4 Responses to “Praise Myself”

  1. Rosanne Says:

    I think you’re a beautiful person too! This process is hard though. Maybe I’m not helping you with giving you praise.

  2. Jonathan Lewis Says:

    Thanks, Rosanne.
    Other people can praise me, that’s fine. What’s important is that I am not looking for it in order to satisfy a need, which I am capable of satisfying myself. You’re right, it is a tough process, but it is a rewarding one. Start gently and see how it makes you feel. You’re going to be very good at it.

  3. Marcus Says:

    Just thought I’d share this: I have a couple of mantras of self-praise that I repeat to myself in my mind. Or, out loud in the presence of my wife or my little boy. They’re jingles really: ‘Why am I so handsome? Why am I so gay?’ & ‘ooohhh! I wanna kiss myself!’

    x

  4. Jonathan Lewis Says:

    Thank you so much for your comment, Marcus. It’s so typically and beautifully you.

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