Planning for a Night Out

Friday 7 April, 2000

I’m going out with Aubrey and some of his friends tonight. An opportunity to put a few things into practice and to observe myself. It is important I avoid withdrawal (TA). If I want to get into an interesting conversation with someone then I need to remember the rituals and pastiming (see this post on Time Structuring for explanations of these terms). Those parts of the conversation which I dislike (i.e. small talk) are vital in order to progress to the interesting stuff.

I will also try to observe the games people play and understand people’s drivers (TA) and scripts (TA). One problem I do tend to have is that I don’t know whether I’m right or not. Tonight I will just feel and assume I’m right. It’s the self doubt which is the problem. I doubt my own ability to observe correctly and this usually leads to me giving up very quickly.

Tonight there will be no doubt and I shall not give up. I have enough of the relevant information to reach the right conclusions about situations. I can do it and I will do it. I will go out tonight and I will be aware of the people around me and the games which go on. It is an area of my personal development which needs improving. Tonight I will make good progress.

In addition, I will not be charming. I must not forget what I can be like in the presence of women – there is no need to attract their attention and interest. Watch out for the sexual games: it’s spring, my hormones have woken up and women could easily draw me in. It’s better if I don’t drink alcohol.

Summary:

  • Be careful not to withdraw
  • Remember: rituals and pastiming are the gateway to interesting conversation
  • Don’t charm – there’s no need
  • Feel my feelings and know that I’m right
  • Be aware of the games
  • No alcohol

[Just so you don’t have to wait until tomorrow: it didn’t go well.]

Related post: Where’s Your Focus?

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