Just Be the Best I Can Possibly Be

Sunday 16 April, 2000

An early start – I did my exercises which I was very pleased about – and we went to the Forth Bridge before driving through Edinburgh to visit Karaj’s former client. Kuldip and I went for a walk and a pint in Edinburgh. We walked around the castle and had enjoyable conversations. I sometimes find Kuldip to be over-friendly; too eager to please by being very complimentary, almost subservient towards other people.

This feeling is connected to my awkward acceptance of unconditional strokes (TA) but also because Kuldip seems very willing to put himself down, which also connects with my own insecurities highlighted in yesterday’s entry. The thing is, there are no pre-determined heights to reach, precedents to live up to, or levels of ability or competence to attain. All I can do is be the best I can possibly be. I don’t need to warn people of aspects of myself which don’t even exist and I don’t need to worry about people’s opinion of me.

As Karaj pointed out on the drive home: if people have a problem with me they’ll say so. And so long as I think I’m a great person that’s all that really matters.


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