Becoming Aware of the Games

Friday 5 May, 2000

In a heavy meeting with Kuldip, Karaj showed us how Kuldip and Samantha both suck people into their games, and how Samantha confuses me, leaving me wondering what on earth’s going on.

1. Her initial attraction is her charm and sexuality which comes from her Adapted Child (AC) and speaks directly to my Parent.
2. She also shows her Nurturing Parent (NP) which looks after my Adapted Child (AC), as shown in the second diagram.
 

 

However, the real messages are the hidden (ulterior) transactions, shown as dotted lines in the diagrams:

3. Her Controlling Parent (CP) to my Rebellious Child (RC) is ‘You need to wake up, you have a great deal to sort out’.
4. Her Rebellious Child (RC) sends a message to my Controlling Parent (CP) which says ‘Who do you think you are? You can’t do anything for me’

It’s no wonder I get confused. Another example is what she said to me a few weeks ago: ‘Guess what. I have a new best friend.’ With that comment, she is telling me to fuck off, but is doing so in a way that I’m supposed to be pleased for her. Not good.

Karaj’s explanation also improved my understanding of the ego states and transactions.

Karaj added later that Kuldip is in my life at the moment for a reason and it probably means I will draw people like Kuldip into my life when I return to Germany. That also means people like Samantha. I need to be aware of my feelings and aware of the games people play.

Related post: Child Ego State
Related webpage: Transactional Analysis

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