Keeping Good Company

Saturday 6 May, 2000

Yesterday I feared my weekend would be a lonely one. And because I would be on my own I thought I would feel low. I felt there would be times when I would like some company but I also knew I needed to spend time with myself.

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Becoming Aware of the Games

Friday 5 May, 2000

In a heavy meeting with Kuldip, Karaj showed us how Kuldip and Samantha both suck people into their games, and how Samantha confuses me, leaving me wondering what on earth’s going on.

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Others’ Opinions

Thursday 4 May, 2000

How much easier my life would be if I could live with people’s opinion that I am a fool. This follows a conversation with Karaj during which he expressed, not for the first time, his satisfaction that some people consider him to be an incompetent fool.

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Infinite Futures

Wednesday 3 May, 2000

I often find myself looking forward to future events: the weekend, a football match, a holiday, a phone call. When this happens I draw myself out of the present and along a path towards a particular future. Suddenly the choice of futures I have is limited, finite. The same occurs when I am worried about a particular event. I worry something may or may not happen and all the time I’m worrying, I’m drawing myself away from the present moment into a limited future.

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