Clearing Out My Life

Friday 11 August, 2000

I feel slightly better this morning. My intake of liquids has been good and I may even eat this afternoon if all goes well. Talked to Karaj. It is definitely to do with my mum. However, she is still my mum. There is no need to react against her for what she doesn’t realise she’s doing. Simply carry on but be aware. Also, I am very keen to continue with this process of cleansing. It’s about keeping every aspect of my life clean; my exercise area, the food I consume, the way I live my life, the way I deal with people and so on.

Clean. No hidden agenda. Transparent.

If I maintain a level of cleanliness then I am better able to deal with all the dirt which has thus far accumulated, without the accumulation of further dirt to hinder my progress. Karaj talked about having cleansing weekends. The process is ongoing and I want to clear my life.

I haven’t been sick at all today and I’ve eaten relatively well. I’m looking forward to further improvements in appetite tomorrow and a reduction in headache intensity. I have lost weight.

Karaj came to visit for an hour. He brought some fruit and we talked about Britain’s failure to recognise the qualities of its own subjects. Apparently this stems from Queen Victoria’s time when all the best people left the country to take up positions in India and elsewhere in the empire. The people who remained were considered to be third-rate citizens. We still consider ourselves to be unworthy and it is seen as impolite to praise ourselves.

Karaj also thanked me for my self-appraisal because it has encouraged others to do theirs.

[This post, and all the others between 23rd July 2000 and 11th August 2000, should be read in conjunction with the current post, ‘It’s My Script’, from 8th August 2011.]


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