Imagined & Real

Wednesday 16 August, 2000

I have noticed over the last 36 hours that I am getting angry at hypothetical situations. This has been a trait of mine for many years and was prevalent during my time as a young man who desperately wanted the world to change and for people to wake up to themselves. My thoughts drift to an imagined scenario or conversation. I imagine how the conversation will go and run through it in my head. I quickly lose my patience and become angry with the other person and eventually lose control of the situation. The scenario is imagined but the resulting anger and frustration are real. It doesn’t occur so often these days but it has happened 4 or 5 times over the last two days.

[Karaj: You create the fantasy and then everything else follows.]

One incident from yesterday, for example, was caused by a leap from reality to fantasy as I was walking home. I was crossing a side road and a large mercedes-benz came towards me on the main road. This is where I made the transition to fantasy, because I thought to myself, ‘If he turns into my road without indicating I’ll have him. Who does he think he is anyway in his big car; they’re all the same…’ He didn’t indicate because he didn’t turn. He just drove on by and I was left with an angry feeling and a hatred of drivers of oversized cars. It is pointless and damaging.

[Karaj: Important. You have to create space and time for dreaming.]

Related post: Think Whatever You Want

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