Training Day: Conclusion

Saturday 30 September, 2000

Think…Feel…Do

This relates to the way people react under pressure. Some people do something – anything. Others start thinking, philosophising and planning solutions to problems. Others become emotional. Reactions differ according to the individual and it is very helpful to identify people’s profiles.

Personally I am a ‘Feel…Think………………Do‘ person. My initial response is emotional, very quickly followed by a thought process which can continue for a long time. Eventually I will do something, but more often than not I will do nothing – I rarely get that far. Recently I have done more to bring the three stages closer together. Spending more time ‘doing’ has helped me to drag myself out of the thinking phase.

I can quite easily become bogged down with my own thoughts and I find myself going round in circles and becoming frustrated and annoyed. By being active my attention is focused on something other than my thoughts. It clears my head and helps to calm me down both mentally and physically.

Re-parenting

Very often I become involved in my own internal dialogue. This occurs between my Child and my Controlling Parent. The Child expresses a desire and the Parent tries to negate the desire; I put myself down and make myself feel unworthy and incapable. The argument goes round in circles and I get nowhere.

With relationships, for example, my last two experiences in particular have left me with the feeling that things must change but my negative Controlling Parent has not provided me with the opportunity or the support to effect a change in my life. What I have needed is Karaj’s input and that is what re-parenting is. It allows a second person to interact with me to such an extent that not only does my Child receive the support it needs to achieve its desire, but Karaj also communicates directly with my Parent and helps to nullify its negative impact.

This is vital if we are to progress along our chosen path. Left alone I would continue with my internal dialogue and my old habits. Karaj’s help and intervention stops the dialogue and allows me to change whilst providing me with the support and encouragement I need to achieve my goals.

What is written here [in these four entries] is the essence of the workshop and it was all set against the background of a list of attributes, qualities, frailties and memories which I recalled and noted about my parents. I managed a list of 100 about my Father, 60 about my Mother and 100 about myself.

Karaj helped us all to see that the more we explore our histories, the more we can add to those lists and the more this will help us to clear the blockages within ourselves. It is these blockages which make us the conditioned individuals we are and which prevent us from being the complete beings we all have the potential of becoming.

The tools which are highlighted here can go a very long way to helping me in my relationships with myself and with other people. I remarked at the close of the day that my observation skills are poor and that I find it very difficult to employ any of the tools effectively. My concentration levels are also low – my mind has a lot to answer for. Each day is full of opportunities to practice these skills and I shall endeavour to do so in order to be able to do this workshop the justice it deserves.

Additional posts: Training Day: IntroductionTraining Day: Ego States & StrokesTraining Day: Games & Drivers

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