Consistency, Boundaries & Discipline

Friday 1 December, 2000

After a late night I had another lie-in. Two in two days. I felt a little tired and under the weather this morning. I spoke to Karaj and he said that it may well mean that I am doing well and that something is about to happen. I should, therefore, be very aware this weekend, especially as I have a full programme. Tonight I am going for a few drinks with Aubrey and Tom, and tomorrow I am going to visit Alex.

I talked to Karaj about what happens as we proceed with our self-development. Other people in our life may react because things are changing; they may (unconsciously) attempt to maintain the old dynamic, pulling us back into our old habits. (Here’s a good example which didn’t even need people.) That is a critical time because it serves to test our process. The temptation is to try to placate or to understand or even to help the others but all of this should be avoided.

What we must do is remain true to ourselves. After defining our boundaries, we must stick to them; this is the only option we can take which will be successful. To be consistent is the best we can do for ourselves and, ultimately, for those around us. It is our consistency which will have a positive effect on others. Anything else needs to be instigated by the people themselves. Only each person can decide to work on their own personal development. No-one else can make that decision for them.

The way to achieve this consistency and to stick to the boundaries is discipline. Only through discipline can we learn to simplify life to such an extent that it becomes a joyful experience, not just for us but also for those connected with us.

I returned home and wasn’t too keen on going out tonight although I would like to see Aubrey and Tom. It worked out that way when Aubrey phoned to say that Tom has to work late and will drop in to see us later. I got cocky because I got what I wanted, but later Tom phoned to say that he’d finished work early and the evening was back on. Oh dear. This reminds me of the time I was washing up in Germany a few years ago, and an interview came on the radio with Oliver Sacks. I was delighted and became somehow pleased with myself. At that moment the signal failed and the interview was lost. I was disappointed but felt that, in a way, it had served me right for getting so excited about it. As I relaxed the signal came back and the interview returned. [A lesson in non-attachment.]

When Tom called I was initially disappointed because I had settled in for the evening but I have since smiled at myself for getting cocky. The Universe is a very sensitive place. Later, Aubrey came home and declared that he couldn’t be bothered to leave the house again, so Tom came round after all. Perfect.

Related posts: Why We Need Boundaries | Discipline

Leave a Reply