The Analysis Will Come

Thursday 14 December, 2000

Again, not the ideal start to the day – I overslept. It is proving more difficult than I imagined to get back into my routine. When I’m in it, it’s easy to get out of bed, but at the moment I am struggling.

On my walk this morning I tried to practice observing and NOT analysing. I saw a schoolboy running across the road and I thought ‘he’s late’. This was an easy observation but then I realised it was, in fact, an analysis. I tried again. ‘He’s running’. That was even simpler. I continued. ‘He has a book and a ruler in his hand’. I did not need to draw any conclusions about what I was seeing because the feeling accompanied my thoughts – he’s late and he hasn’t finished his homework. It is so simple. Do not attach any significance to what I see because that will only block the feelings. Simply observe what I see and what I hear and the feelings will come. If they don’t come immediately it’s okay. It may be an indication of the complexity of the issue. Relax.

Talked about some people’s propensity for criticism. I have found this a source of particular irritation in the past because I have allowed those people to undermine my confidence. I have reacted badly and returned fire with comments of my own which have merely caused the situation to escalate towards arguments, fall-outs and petty, childish point scoring. The only reaction which I can possibly give is no reaction at all. If I am confident of who I am then no-one can undermine me. They can only do so if I allow it. So, relax, because if someone is having a go at me then it most probably says more about who they are than it does about me. After all, I know who I am. I am confident with who I am and the odd comment here and there cannot change that.

Aubrey came round last night. It was lovely to have some company for a change. He has been instrumental in providing me the opportunity to work so closely with Karaj and for that I am truly grateful.

One Response to “The Analysis Will Come”

  1. Eveline Says:

    This post starts out with An analysis and then just gets better and better. Felt uplifted at the end of it. Well done!

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