This afternoon Kuldip returned to the house for the first time since he was advised to find some space. It is good to see him and together the four of us talked about relationships. Relationships are the things which we need to progress. To try and progress alone is far too difficult and when we consider that there is the alternative of mutual support, guidance and inspiration, why would we want to go it alone?

It is the forming of such relationships that is occurring within the men’s group. Outside the organised meetings each month, relationships are gently developing. Examples of this are my visit to Sunil, Kuldip’s visit to Dev, Sunil’s visit to Calvin and Dev’s visit to the house, not to mention the weekend in North Wales. As more and more connections are made within the group, the group becomes stronger and stronger.

We finished the day with a meal together. I was tired and not particularly hungry, and would have been content to go to bed. Dev agreed to the meal and I went along with the plan – I know from my experience that such opportunities are precious and that no harm could come to me in the presence of these people. The meal was thoroughly enjoyable, as was the conversation and I seemed to find an appetite from nowhere. We dropped Kuldip off at home and then went home ourselves, where we talked further before going to bed.

Dev is an inspiration to me with some of the things he has to say. I talked about the fact that we can’t go too far wrong, but he pointed out that the closer we come to enlightenment, the more difficult it gets. Take Naveen for example. Maybe he is nearly there and he’s messing things up for himself. We don’t know how close we are, and the worse it gets the more disheartened we feel and the more likely we are to give in.

I still feel a little ill in my throat and I had the thought that if this continues I can’t go dancing on Tuesday. The thing is, I am going dancing on Tuesday. This journey doesn’t necessarily get easier.

Things to remember:

  • Relationships.
  • Everything is a lie – the wise remain silent and talk in riddles.
  • Create space in order to do my work and walk my path.
  • Protect what I have.
  • Don’t create noise and avoid those that do
  • It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is.
  • The journey doesn’t necessarily get easier.

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