Choosing Positivity

Tuesday 9 January, 2001

With respect to Dev’s visit and the weekend in particular, I noticed in our interactions that I could not be my usual negative, denigrating self in such company. It is a much more positive and supportive environment. This is a tremendous help to me in altering my attitude towards people, the world and everything in it. I am keen to move away from any negative attitude I have. I have made excellent progress over the last two years but there is still negativity present which is easily brought to the surface in the wrong company. I spoke to Karaj about it yesterday and he told me it is very important that I stay away from negative people. Where possible I can warn them about their negativity. I already do this with my dad and although the intention is not to change him, he seems to be realising the benefits of a more positive approach for himself.

After talking to Karaj I also have a better insight into George’s character. I know his appreciation of the value of money, and this tends to manifest itself in trade-offs in order that no-one loses out. One example occurred on Saturday. We were having lunch in town and talking about computers. George turned to Sunil and said ‘I tell you what, I’ll do you a deal, you come over and fix my computer and I’ll take you to where you can get cheap shoes’. Sunil picked this up immediately and explained that there is no need to offer deals or incentives. The group is all about building relationships not getting value for money. Sunil told George he’d be very happy to visit him at his home. That is what it is all about. After all, I visited Sunil in his garage, helped build a run for the guinea pig and had the time of my life.

As Karaj explained to me, George is all about fairness and it is this which causes him problems. He is too preoccupied with balancing the transaction instead of relaxing and indulging in life. As Karaj is always at pains to point out, there is no need to prove what we already are. George is a fair and kind man. Now relax and enjoy yourself. During the course of our shopping trip last week, George expressed a desire to go to four shops. The learning point from it all is that however uncomfortable George may have felt about leading us round these shops, they were useful to all of us. As I often do myself, he did not recognise the benefits which everyone had from the activities he had suggested. The thing to remember is that it matters not what we do when we are in such a supportive group.


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