Whatever We Do We Become Good At

Monday 19 March, 2001

I spent the morning doing some woodwork, putting together a box-drawer on wheels. When Karaj had started to explain to me what he wanted doing, I felt the usual emotions of negativity and heard the familiar words in my head, ‘I can’t do this’. I checked myself and told myself that I can do it and I will enjoy doing it. I was right; not only was I capable, I also enjoyed the exercise and I did a very good job in a short space of time with no problems whatsoever.

Afterwards, Karaj and I went for a celebration lunch and discussed crying. Karaj said that crying is irresponsible. [Relevant point: in TA terms, Karaj has a Be Strong‘ driver ]. It is a failure to deal with the here and now. Whatever we do we become good at. I started crying at an early age and I have become very good at it. This may be why I get upset so easily and why I take things so personally: because I am so eager to take the opportunity to cry. He talked about Earl and Robert crying for their children’s pain. The question is: what did they do about it? Whilst we’re crying we’re not being productive. I understood this but I am still unsure about the therapeutic aspects of crying; surely it’s good to release the pain from time to time? Moreover, I had a problem with the fact that I very often cry when humans are kind to each other. Karaj told me that this is okay because those tears are tears of joy.


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