A Gentle Realisation

Friday 13 April, 2001

06.00 E&M. It didn’t take much for me to get up this morning and even with a stiff back from yesterday’s exertions I enjoyed the exercises. It was as if yesterday, with all it’s positive points, would have meant nothing had I not made it out of bed this morning. In fact it occurred to me that I have had an excellent week and the discipline of my exercises has played a huge part in that. It puts a high-class finish on whatever I do.

Karaj said to me on Monday that, having made good progress since my post-Germany low, it is vital that I keep my energy up. I have done this through activity, discipline and balance. It has been an excellent week, with a very good learning point:

There was no trace of a ‘hangover’ from my enjoyable weekend with the men. In the past I have missed people after the event because I am already missing them during it. I am not fully with them. Instead I am already setting myself up for my sadness.

At the weekend I realised this, and the beautiful thing about it is that, since my low after Prague at Christmas, and feeling down following my trip to Germany (after which I verbalised the issue in the group), it has taken a little over three months for me to recognise the trigger and when it occurs. And it has all happened gently. Well done indeed. Don’t get cocky. Relax and remain balanced.


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