Calm, Balanced & Aware

Sunday 29 April, 2001

06.50 E&M 30 mins – a short programme. Physically, I feel a little stiff and slightly achy in my joints. Went to the launderette and then for a walk in the park. During my walk I thought about last night’s dancing and about how far I have come. Two years ago I cut a sad and pathetic figure, being given the emotional run-around by Samantha, and heading for more physical pain with my back. Last night I put in a performance of which I can be proud (stay grounded), and it was effortless; I was in control, I was funny, and I danced well. And all because I remained calm, balanced and aware. I have noticed recently that plotting my moods actually helps me to maintain my balance. It serves as an excellent reminder not to get too excited.

I watched a moving documentary called ‘Killer’s Don’t Cry’ about changing men’s attitudes in South African prisons. I was touched by how, in only a matter of days, it had been possible to have an impact on even the most hardened criminals. Much of the emotional content reminded me of the men’s group. It was very powerful stuff. The facilitator (a woman named Joanna Thomas) summed up the attitude I have heard from Karaj on many occasions, ‘Inside everyone there is a human being’.


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