Encourage Others to Blossom

Saturday 12 May, 2001

06.00 E&M 90 mins. Felt a bit tired this morning. Karaj and Robert had gone out for a walk in the early morning and they returned just as I went to pick up Calvin from his room. Great timing. After breakfast we all did our own thing. I went for a walk along the beach. Again the sun is shining and the weather is perfect.

Through our conversations together I have gained these insights:

  • Relax and things go well; things work
  • Don’t get so involved in negativity – real, perceived or fantasy
  • Unless you let go you will not see your conditioning/script’ – Karaj
  • See the conflict of ‘Be Perfect’ and ‘Hurry Up’ drivers – slow down
  • The silence in the groups – I worry about getting things wrong but the others remain quiet because they simply don’t have a response
  • Persevere – the problems we had getting here should not deter us. Calvin had similar difficulties getting to dancing on Thursday but he made it. Robert had problems booking the rooms for this weekend but he did it. It is the niggles which tempt us to give up. If we persevere we do come out the other side and we feel satisfied and okay, because things do work out.
  • If I’m anxious about things going wrong then imagine things really going wrong – indulge myself in comical scenarios whilst telling myself all the time the it matters not what happens
  • Make life boring when people ask me what’s going on

Calvin and I headed off to watch the cup final. I am surprised at just how quiet Calvin is when we watch football and I am beginning to get the feeling that he is very happy with his silence. It’s other people who have a problem with it.

At dinner Karaj told me to focus because my attention was everywhere; mostly with the waitresses. I felt reprimanded and almost ashamed because I had needed to be told to focus on my food instead of the women. I also felt embarrassed and exposed because it had been so obvious. Nevertheless I did focus more and took my attention away from what was going on around me. I felt better for it and I didn’t miss anything. I thanked Karaj later and he told me that is how I suck women in – by teasing them. It’s no good for me and it is no good for them (the waitresses got told off a couple of times for something or other). He added that now he has seen for himself what I do, we can work on it and sort it out… gradually. Relax

Another walk in the fresh, warm, evening air. I return feeling tired and stiff but contented. In our room, we have a small party to celebrate our work together and the work we have all done both with Karaj and as individuals. Robert has been using the time here to look through his very early poems and has been moved by what he wrote in his early days and also by the clear evidence that, just as Karaj says about the people who come to see him as clients, he has always known the answers.

The best way to encourage oneself to blossom is to encourage others to do so’ – Karaj


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