A Quick & Effective Goodbye

Monday 14 May, 2001

06.00 E&M 60 mins. Meditation consisted of falling asleep in the bath. The late nights and early mornings are catching up on me. Out on the balcony after our last breakfast together I took one last look at the seagulls gliding overhead. I was reminded of the feeling I had as a child whilst spending the weekend with dad at my Gran’s. I used to think that being a bird would be better than being me because they don’t have any problems. [Karaj: Birds don’t have any problems? Kids throw stones at them, cars run them over and some people eat them.]

At breakfast Calvin asked me if we were heading straight back. We were the only two left at the table and I wondered if Calvin was trying to get a lift home instead of having to travel by coach. I returned to the room and asked Karaj why he hadn’t offered the lift. He replied saying that it is up to Calvin to ask. That way he is taking the initiative and because he is making the decision himself, the responsibility is all his should anything go wrong.

After packing, Karaj decided to head straight off. We said a very quick and effective goodbye to the others and checked out. There was absolutely no problem with goodbyes for me this time. We didn’t embrace as I thought we would. We simply shook hands (we didn’t even do that with Calvin as he was in the shower at the time). All this meant that there was no opportunity for ‘leaving’ games. People have a tendency to induce sadness into the occasion (I realise that I am guilty of that) or they try to extend people’s stay in order to postpone the goodbye (I do that too). This has been a good insight into the leaving games I play and how I can make my future goodbyes painless.

We drove straight home and made it in 3½ hours. My back aches from sitting and I am tired. Back at the house I slept solidly for two hours and then set about doing some work for Karaj’s course in Cambridge. I spent three hours correcting and typing articles for the Procedures newsletter on recruitment and selection. Towards the end I felt restless and annoyed because I was so tired but once I had finished, those feelings disappeared. Karaj and I went for a meal and then I went straight to bed.

My tiredness is a very satisfied tiredness. I couldn’t have fitted any more into my weekend. As well as being a gift from Robert, the weekend in Eastbourne was also a gift from Karaj. Thank you Robert. Thank you Karaj.


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