Coming Out of Withdrawal

Tuesday 19 June, 2001

Today has been another full day. Along with the accounts work, we finalised Kuldip’s contract for his work in the house and we managed to draft the Sicily letter detailing the homework, the boundaries, and the requirements for the trip.  I also spoke to Ishwar. I phoned him for some information and we ended up having an enjoyable and empowering chat about the nature of development. So far this week I have spoken to Ishwar, Calvin and George, as well as communicating better with Karaj and Kuldip. 

I am coming out of my withdrawal and it feels good.

During my talk with Ishwar he mentioned that a certain amount of withdrawal is healthy. I realised that the intensity of my withdrawal, however, had reached addictive levels –  signified by the resentment I felt coming to the house on Saturday and Sunday a couple of weeks ago. When it reaches these proportions it is damaging. As Ishwar said, with age and experience we learn how much is healthy and when it becomes destructive. I am learning.

Aubrey passed through this evening and I had a really enjoyable, albeit brief, chat with him. We talked about my back, his wedding plans and the garden. He is staying tomorrow night so I asked him to bring his new gardening book with him for me to look at. He seemed a little surprised and, to an extent, so was I. I have learnt to appreciate and enjoy the pleasures of gardening since working with Karaj and it was a lovely feeling to be able to express the desire to share that enjoyment with Aubrey by showing interest in his book. It was a further sign that I am coming out of my withdrawal – and I am better off for it too. It does me good to interact with the right people.


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