Much Has Happened

Thursday 5 July, 2001

Woke feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep but I’m still tired somehow. During my walk I felt very unsettled and irritated. I felt stunned disbelief that Kuldip had not listened to a word I had said to him yesterday. I had not said much but I had talked about fundamental issues, and they simply did not register with him. No wonder he struggles with his life.

When I arrived at the house Karaj and I had an important talk. Karaj told me that he spends too much time explaining things to some people. He has never gone into too much explanation with me – he tells me and I listen. Once I have acted on his words and found out for myself, we usually talk it through so that I can better understand what has happened to me, but there is no point in prior explanation because I do not need any convincing about the wisdom of following Karaj’s advice.

Karaj has come up with some rules for working in the office. So much has happened recently – since Eastbourne – and things have moved on to another, deeper level. Everything has changed and new boundaries have to be established.

Dev phoned and we chatted for an hour. I had not intended to raise the subject of Kuldip but when it entered our conversation I recounted the breakthrough I had yesterday. As I explained to Dev that I had finally realised that Kuldip doesn’t actually listen, I began to get annoyed again. I changed the subject – why should I suffer because someone else is not making the most of a situation?

[Karaj: The reason you have to suffer is in order to feel, see and have clarity in analysis, so you do not keep on repeatedly attracting the same people.]


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