Arrived at the house feeling good. My (a:) drive is still playing up and has been since yesterday afternoon – ever since I used one of Kuldip’s disks in it. This annoyed me and then Kuldip arrived. I felt uncomfortable again. It was very noticeable, especially after the calmness of yesterday with Kuldip not being around.

We sat down early and Karaj talked to Kuldip about the situation in the house. He seemed to take it very well that he was, once again, being asked to leave (although he will still be attending the groups). Sunil and Karaj would tell me later that not only is that just how he sucks me in but he also has no idea what has happened to him. This second point was demonstrated in the afternoon by his stated intention to come to the house on Sunday to mow the lawn.

Sunil arrived and he and I spent most of the morning together while Kuldip sat in the other room. Karaj had given him a simple task to do: organise three sets of three appraisals (his, Sunil’s, and mine) so that we could each read all of them and compare notes.

Unfortunately, Kuldip seemed unable to complete the task satisfactorily and Karaj, as usual, stood over him while he finished it. The atmosphere was uncomfortable because of this so Sunil and I left the room. Karaj came after us telling us that we should have stayed, not only to provide Karaj with support but also to add emphasis to the situation – it is always more effective in getting the message across if it is done in front of others. In addition we would have learnt more had we stayed.

We prepared lunch together and the four of sat and enjoyed a delicious meal in a light-hearted atmosphere. Ishwar arrived and we reviewed each others appraisals. The general consensus was that with Sunil and me, the analysis is clear and the process towards a solution or conclusion can easily be followed. However, with Kuldip, the appraisals are confusing and non-committal with little or no analysis, just description. Kuldip had said to me this morning that he doesn’t even know whether he has the commitment to be in the house. Enough said.

Kuldip is a passive aggressor: he does nothing but somehow manages to cause havoc and disruption in those around him. This sucks me right in and, as Sunil pointed out in his feedback on my appraisal, I cannot observe or analyse so effectively. After Kuldip and Ishwar left, the three of us spent a highly enjoyable couple of hours in the garden. It was just what I needed to earth myself after such a difficult time – not just today but since Kuldip arrived in the house at the end of May.


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