Too Serious

Monday 30 July, 2001

My mood is subdued and I have the feeling that things have become very serious and hard work here in the house. This formed the basis of my conversation with Karaj this morning. I am no longer having fun here. I have taken responsibility for things which have nothing to do with me. By worrying others I am undermining their ability to cope and to sort themselves out.

All I need to do is the work in front of me. And do the work for myself, with no thought or speculation as to what lies behind it. I have simply been asked to do a job; one of which I am highly capable. Everything else is none of my business. Just do the job. If I can learn not to worry about things then my life will be so much better. I managed somehow to reduce my concern for the state of the planet, so I should be able to extend that to my daily life.

Karaj also told me that my seriousness affects the whole atmosphere of the office. If I don’t start to relax, slow down and have some fun, then I could wreck all the foundations we have built up to this point. As he talked I recognised my tendency to make everything I do serious. I make my relationships serious, my life is serious, my work is serious and I even take my hobbies seriously. Stop it. HAVE SOME FUN.

Karaj and I saw a programme at lunch in which a young man said, ‘Relax and you will be shown the way’. In the afternoon we did some light weeding in the garden. When Karaj made the suggestion it was the last thing I wanted to do but by the end I felt invigorated and satisfied.


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