A Reality Check

Tuesday 14 August, 2001

Today was supposed to be the beginning of my exercise routine, but when I eventually made it out of bed with sciatica in both legs, the pain led me to take the easy option of lying back down. I feel annoyed at everything. I need to tackle one thing at a time rather than stand in front of all the obstacles in my life and be overawed by them. Moreover, I need to see the positives in my life instead of focusing on the negative side of everything.

Slow down. I have never really made much of an effort to combat my ‘Hurry Up’ driver, and it would seem that it’s at the root of so many of my issues. To concentrate on, observe and influence my need to achieve things quickly would be of major benefit to my life. Slow down.

[Karaj: It is not a question of whether or not you make progress. It is about observing the natural cycle of things.]

Karaj phoned from London and we chatted about my real need to slow down, be less negative, and my essential need to appreciate the contribution I make to others (see Sunil’s life). It is the height of (inverted) arrogance to believe that I don’t make a contribution to the lives of other people.

He also mentioned the dramas which people cause simply in order to relieve the boredom in their lives. I do the same with negativity – negativity is such an easy tool to use and I use it to great effect to spice up my life when things become humdrum. I use negativity to create excitement. I also use it like my brother and father do, to counteract too much positivity. There really is no need for this. Just relax and aim for a boring life. If I can be comfortable with boredom than I have achieved something major.

Karaj went on: In the first year of growth there is great positivity and enthusiasm, but in order to maintain the positivity we have to consolidate – and this is the boring part. Because the mind is wired up with a hunger for incidents and there is no perceived positivity happening, the mind goes into negativity – this is normal and natural. However, the more I maintain my negativity, the longer my process of self-realisation. I need to get beyond this point, beyond my normal habit of blaming myself or blaming others – only then will the results come.

Karaj backed up his comments with a story about the ascent of Everest. The enthusiastic ones were eager to climb Everest right away, but the experienced ones sat and waited, and waited. They waited for the conditions to be right before they climbed, and as they climbed they were passed by the energetic beginners on stretchers on their way down. Not only had they failed in their attempt to reach their goal, they have also jeopardised their chances of ever reaching the summit. It is all about knowing that this is a process – keep on going back to what I have achieved in the first year and consolidate my progress before I attempt to climb to the next level. That is what I need to do.


Leave a Reply