Too Much Pain

Tuesday 9 October, 2001

The pain is worse than ever this morning. My left heel feels like a solid block in my foot, the numbness in my legs is worse, my left calf muscle feels as though it is torn, and the sciatica in my right leg feels like a red-hot skewer going all the way down into my foot. The pain is worst when I am standing, and walking is proving to be increasingly slow and painful.

On the way to the bus stop I nearly gave up and I was in severe pain all the way to the house. By that time I was struggling to walk or even stand upright for more than a few minutes. Karaj drove me to the hospital. He advised me not to mention any of my previous history of back problems so that the doctors would not be swayed towards a particular diagnosis. I expected to be given a diagnosis for my back and legs and to leave with a better idea of what I need to do to get better. As it happened I was seen by five doctors, all of whom were perplexed by my symptoms, and admitted to hospital for further tests.

Before he left, Karaj confirmed what I had already been thinking – there is a men’s group on Saturday and I should do everything in my power to be there. Given that I could barely walk and the doctors didn’t exactly know what was wrong, this seemed to me like quite a challenge.


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