Detached Professionalism

Thursday 11 October, 2001

A much better night’s sleep and a more comfortable day. More positivity exercises, less pain, but the numbness is worse – it has spread to my pelvic region. Fortunately only the sensory nerves seem to be affected. The motor nerves are fine so I have normal movement and power.

Went for the MRI scan which was over quite quickly. I was accompanied by a male nurse who, at first sight, seemed to me to be confident and self-assured. As it turned out he was less than I had assumed him to be. Things and people are not always as they appear.

I notice the detachment of the doctors as they go about their work. They communicate all that is necessary to the patients, and no more. They are polite and respectful, but remain unattached. I have also noted the qualities of some of the more senior nurses. Again, they do their job very well and are focused on their work. In doing this they gain the respect of their colleagues. They lead and delegate without any fuss. This is not about liking or being liked. It is all about doing a job to the best of one’s ability.

I am still in the admissions ward and many of the patients who come in are told by the doctors that their symptoms are puzzling. One patient opposite me is having trouble recognising objects. I tend to feel sorry for him, but he seems unaffected by it. Don’t project my emotions onto others.


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