Will I Come Back?

Sunday 14 October, 2001

Phoned the house and spoke to Dev. It was a short and stilted conversation and so, five minutes later, I phoned back. This time Robert answered and he was very enthusiastic about the industry of the house today: ‘Things are moving at rocket pace’. Among other things, they were working on visions for the next few years. He told me I sounded straight, which described my feelings well. Just before the call I had been trying to determine in what way I felt different to normal. I do not feel high or emotional about the good things from yesterday and the previous few days. I don’t feel cocky. Don’t get cocky.

It was good to hear of the industry in the house, and to hear of it from a position outside the house. It gives me a perspective on the work I do there and helps me to own what I do. I asked to speak to Dev and this time it was a much better conversation. He told me of his uncertainty with how he should be with me, given Karaj’s question to the three of them (Dev, Robert and Sunil) this morning. He had asked them whether I will come back. Even Karaj seems unsure. I told Dev just to be himself with me because that is what I need. I added that I will make no proclamations or promises about returning… but that I am staying.

 


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