Owning My Achievements

Monday 12 November, 2001

At the house Karaj and I talked about the change in me over the last three weeks. Coming out of hospital I felt excluded and in order to remain here I had to claim my space back. I have done that and what has come out of it is the ownership of my achievements which Karaj has always told me has been missing. I am realising what I have done and I am seeing that it is okay to own those accomplishments. The group has helped enormously here and it is about time that I return that commitment by owning what I have achieved. George is a prime example here with his enthusiasm of the newsletters and his appreciation of my involvement in them. I helped to instigate them, I have always encouraged and invited contributions from others.

We had a restful morning and in the afternoon we spent a couple of ‘bitumen’ hours putting a panelled roof on the shelter at the end of the garden. At home I returned George’s call and read some more of my appraisal. I cannot describe the feeling I experienced whilst reading the very early stuff (March – April 2000). Some of it is very good but most of it seems full of justifications to myself and naïve ones at that. Writing this now makes me see more fully just how far I have come. At one point in my appraisal I write about ‘how far I have come in the last seven weeks’! When I think now how far I have come in 21 months I cannot help but wonder what will happen over the next five years. [Karaj: Plan it.]


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