We Need to Be Sharper

Monday 19 November, 2001

Had a lie-in and waited for the gas man to arrive to repair the pipes outside the house. I received a letter from Francis which contained a three-page summary of his sabbatical. He has benefited from the experience and is looking to implement one of the aspects he learnt from his time here. He wrote that the instant feedback we demonstrate here is too much for his office, but he is very keen to introduce a form of what he terms ‘communication without prejudice’.

Phoned the house to let Karaj know what was happening and then phoned the gas people to find out where they were – a procedure I have learnt from Karaj: don’t wait for the future to happen, make it happen. Unfortunately I failed to follow a more important procedure of screening my calls. I picked up the phone thinking it might be Karaj or Sunil at the house (assumption), but it was a family member I am doing my best to avoid in order to allow myself the space to work things out. I was instantly annoyed but gathered myself with the intention of limiting the damage and getting out as quickly as possible.

Afterwards I immediately phoned the house and talked to Sunil. He told me to stop bashing myself up and reassured me that sometimes we have to get caught out to wake us up. He told me I have been caught out and I should pay the price and move on. When I got to the house Karaj told me I had got cocky. That is the only explanation whenever I get caught out.

For the rest of the afternoon I joined Karaj, Sunil and Kuldip in the garden. I supervised the shifting of a further 53 buckets (2238) and the moving of the first big panel into place. Karaj told me he was irritated with something but didn’t know what it was. We established the cause later in the day, during George’s session. Along with my incident, Dev had got cocky at work and Robert had misused a trip to the North of England to visit his hometown.

This was akin to me going back to Rugby. His hometown is the source of Robert’s grief and trouble, yet he did not see anything wrong in visiting one of his friends for supper. As Karaj told him when we tracked him down; anything could have happened, anybody could have bumped into him and the whole situation could have flared up. He was also intending to sleep in a service station on the way back to London, until George offered a halfway house. An ideal solution to Robert’s predicament and to George’s isolation – in his session George had told of feeling on the periphery of the group, with all that is going on with us. We told him he is only ever a phone call away and that he should pick up the phone.

We need to be sharper than we are and we need to cover each other’s backs. As Dev said to me, my comment on Saturday about being aware of what is going on applies to every minute of every day. Also, the conversation between me and Robert on Saturday morning which established the need for a grounding exercise which brings us back down to earth and centres us needs to be put into practice by everyone. Last night, would have been the ideal time to take a few minutes to reflect and focus on protecting what I have. This morning, I could have done the same, and I would have spared myself the one phone call I didn’t need.


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