Reviewing Our Year

Thursday 6 December, 2001

Woke up and exercised. Not only did it feel good to start the day like this, it also gave my Parent ego state the chance to exert itself in a more amenable way than it did last night. At the house I put together my contribution for newsletter 10. There is a lot of it and I have tried to slim it down but there is so much that I want to share about what has happened to me recently.

Karaj returned this afternoon and when Sunil arrived we began to prepare for the men’s group which was spent reviewing the year. Each man took his turn to talk briefly about his progress and journey over the last 12 months. Sunil talked about his prayers and how they have influenced people in the group. Robert spoke about finding himself, and Dev told us of his increased self-belief and progress towards his dream job. George and Ishwar both talked about Sicily as having had an impact on their lives, and Calvin said that had someone told him 12 months ago that he would be out dancing every week, he would not have believed them.

This year I have grown up more than I could have imagined. It started with the dancing, progressed through trips to Eastbourne, Germany and Sicily, and took it’s final twist with my visit to hospital and to the brink of leaving everything I have here. I have returned from my uncertainty and have grasped my opportunities with renewed vigour and ownership. In the last two weeks I have achieved a balance and calmness which has enriched my life and which can form the foundation for my growth over the forthcoming year.

Ishwar talked about his former boss and how he has to defend himself against her damning report of him and his performance at work. He has a block to putting his version down on paper. Karaj simply told him to bring it to the group and we will take care of it for him. He told me to make sure Ishwar does bring it to us. Ishwar also broached the issue of instant feedback and, after our conversations on Monday, Karaj encouraged me and Sunil to talk to the group about a subject which can help us all if we give our permission to each other that we are ready and willing to receive such feedback. If that does not happen then we could cause upset and offence with people who are not prepared to accept the challenges we give them.

Karaj continued, saying that we must feed back to each other with detachment. We cannot get emotional about what we are saying to the other person. If we do become angry then we are angry at ourselves. When we speak without caring what the other person does with our words, then we speak out of love. It’s okay to be passionate but we must remain detached from the outcome.


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