Monthly Feedback – December 2002

Tuesday 31 December, 2002

Karaj’s feedback to me for December:

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One Puzzle & Three Challenges

Sunday 29 December, 2002

Karaj and I visited Harriet and George. We chatted about their Christmas, spent with some of the other group members. I was surprised (but not really) to hear that the Sikh men had been isolated from each other: ‘There was no communication between them.

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Craving Drama & Excitement

Saturday 28 December, 2002

Yesterday, around lunchtime, I began to feel tearful. Having then worked well in the evening and verbalised a few thoughts about why I felt sad, Karaj and I had a good laugh about it. I am trying to create some excitement in my life at a time when, ironically, I am appreciating the quiet reflection I am having here. At times it is very powerful.

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A Quiet Christmas

Wednesday 25 December, 2002

On Christmas Eve, Karaj and I spent a beautiful afternoon touring the Severn Valley. At one point, as we stood in the country park overlooking the river, with the sun falling onto the green grass in the valley, it felt a million miles away from the challenging environment of the house. Our conversation was easy and the silences were peaceful. Karaj is such a gentle man, not at all imposing, and I thoroughly enjoyed his company. He just gets on with his life.

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Don’t Get Cocky

Monday 23 December, 2002

I called Simran and challenged him about his behaviour yesterday. He had been to the house and worked in my office, but left without leaving a note, just as Michelle had done to him one year ago, which had caused all sorts of negativity.

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Sufficient Numbers

Sunday 22 December, 2002

Read more of ‘Emergence’, by Steven Johnson. For the ‘colony’ to work, there have to be sufficient numbers. How many did Karaj work with in India?

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How Potent The Attachment

Saturday 21 December, 2002

At 06:00 I got up to make breakfast for Simran before he went to work. Afterwards I went back to bed and noticed the attachment I had to the breakfast: ‘He’d better hurry up, otherwise the tea will be cold‘ or ‘What a good deed I’ve done‘. How potent the attachment was for such a small act.

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Wake Up, It’s Later Than You Think

Friday 20 December, 2002

In this morning’s supervision session, Simran was low and miserable and Ishwar was asleep; not with it at all. Upon hearing that Simran’s son’s guinea pig has died, Karaj dictated a poem immediately. No fear, no doubt, it’s done, dealt with, finished, move on. Karaj produces without attachment; that is why he is so prolific.

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The End-Of-Year Meeting

Thursday 19 December, 2002

Yesterday, Karaj and I worked hard all day to prepare for last night’s end-of-year meeting. It was a sociable event with a yearly review in the middle. Karaj summed up everybody’s year individually and then each of us summarised our own. He said to me that I have worked hard and that, after three years working together, we should try and make it ten. Simran was challenged for bringing ready-made custard for the dessert, rather than making home-made custard.

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Taking Charge More

Tuesday 17 December, 2002

In the evening I went to Simran’s, where the three of us worked on Ishwar’s work appraisal. I (and Simran to an extent) had to provide the motivation. I had suggested that Ishwar come over tonight and I had to keep prompting him. There is rarely any motivation from him except when he is challenged, and even then it is not genuine or sustained. Still, we worked well and moved onto the brainstorm of his media case article.

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Don’t Know How It Works, But It Does

Monday 16 December, 2002

I read some of Emergence, by Steven Johnson (2001), a book about the self-organising ability of life. I immediately recognised the connections with the work Karaj is doing.

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Analysis Of Crowns

Sunday 15 December, 2002

Simran & Dev arrived at 09:00 and we listed the agenda items for today. The priority was the preparation of a report for Karaj’s lunchtime meeting with a client. Simran, Dev, Harriet and Priya were all involved with Karaj and I, working together on the final corrections to the report. I became irritated because I thought time was running out and we had to make all the corrections, but of course, I had forgotten about a similar process we had gone through with a previous client. Steady and meticulous. It doesn’t matter how many times we visit.

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Why Is The Tablecloth Not Straight?

Saturday 14 December, 2002

At 08:45 I began tidying the house. Dev arrived at 09:00, Ishwar at 09:30 and Priya at 09:50. At 10:00 we had an hour’s supervision. Karaj pointed out that we are not ready. Dev was in a meeting two days ago and missed the opportunity to sell the work we do here because he is not prepared. We have not written up the work we have done and we are not focused enough to recognise and be able to take opportunities when they come our way. Too passive.

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It’s About Self-Respect

Friday 13 December, 2002

After a day working on the client statements and the logbook backlog, I joined the others (Karaj, Dev and Simran) on a late-night trip to the supermarket to get the food for the weekend. It was approaching midnight as we stood ready to pay, and I was severely messed about by the 16-year-old cashier. I accepted his apology and walked away, fully aware of the resentment that was building up inside me. Luckily Karaj arrived in time to challenge us (Dev & Simran too). I took the challenge and made a complaint.

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