A Difference in Attitudes

Tuesday 8 January, 2002

06.50 E&M 60 mins. Kuldip arrived and as I made him a cup of tea I contemplated not talking to him but that is not how I welcome people into my space. I asked him how last night’s session was for him. He was impressed with the way everybody engaged with each other and the power of following instructions. He rolled out the usual verbatim instructions to himself – I’ve got to sort it out etc. but, as usual, there was a lack of genuine conviction in his voice.

I was tempted to give him advice (rescue) but resisted easily because I knew I would be wasting my breath. Instead I asked him what he is going to do about it. He told me he will bring his review to the men’s group on Saturday and brainstorm ideas on how he can stay in the group. I told him to brainstorm before the group and bring his ideas with him. I asked him for his plans for the day and told him mine. With that we went about out work.

I notice from my recovery calendar that it is 82 days since the operation and 358 until the end of the year. This makes me realise just how well I am doing. The exercises are going well, I am feeling fitter all the time – the main blockage in my back seems to have gone – and I am only one fifth of the way through my planned recovery period.

Had lunch with Kuldip who said that he sometimes fears coming here whereas the rest of us love it. I told him that I came here because I no longer wanted to be the person I was – I’d had enough of me, whereas he maybe hasn’t. I told him that none of us came here to find better jobs or more money. We came here to improve ourselves and because we are doing exactly that we can look to outside goals. His priority is to sort himself out, surely? I was detached when I talked to him because I know he does not listen and, if he hears anything, it is forgotten 15 minutes later.


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