An Effective Process

Sunday 10 February, 2002

08.20 E&M 60 mins. Karaj came to call for me and we went for breakfast together – a lovely way to start the day. We spent the rest of the time working on the temporary toilet. Karaj had pulled down and cleared the existing toilet and tool shed yesterday and it was great to see all the space that there now is under the conservatory roof.

Sunil, Dev and Robert arrived in the afternoon and Karaj set them the task of writing down their goals for next weekend. This meant Karaj and I could get on with our work without disturbance although the feedback sessions with the other men dragged on a little too long because they just did not seem with it. They were supposed to be working together but they seemed anything but a team at times.

It was a pleasure to work together with Karaj. It’s been a while since we had a day to ourselves and the work progressed very well. I asked him why I am unable to have the courage of my own convictions (and feelings) and why I need outside confirmation before I act.

He told me that the process I go through is very effective. I think about things first and when I talk to Karaj about them I am ready to listen. This is how it is to work in a team. I cannot do this on my own and so it is okay to seek other people’s input. In seeking outside assistance I am creating relationships and establishing the fundamentals of teamwork. It is my conditioning which tells me I should do it on my own.

In the evening Karaj, Sunil and I went for a meal together and then I went home. Aubrey and Kelvin returned from the pub – Kelvin is in town for a course tomorrow – and we sat together for a couple of hours. I can sometimes feel intimidated by and inferior to Kelvin but tonight I had no such problems. He was on form and so was I.

Furthermore, this is who I am. I am serious, respectful, sociable, kind, positive and (gently) assertive. We chatted and laughed and I stood firm with who I am instead of conceding ground which I often have done with people who I consider are better informed than me.


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