Keep On Trying

Thursday 21 February, 2002

07.00 E&M 50 mins. Started the day with the feeling I’d done something wrong. The reason for this is because I am not being straight with people when I know that’s exactly what I should be doing. I try to be polite with people and end up being manipulative (game playing), instead of being straight with them.

It happened again last night. I was straight in asking Ishwar for a lift but, when he offered to take Sunil home too, I waited until we were in the car to see which way he would drive before asking him who he was dropping off first? I should have been straight and told him that I wanted to go home. It was pathetic really. I need to be stronger, more affirmative, be straight with people and verbalise my needs. When I ask a question there can only be two possible answers: Yes or No.

Don’t blame myself every time I fall – don’t be hard on myself – simply say, ‘I’ve done it again‘ and keep on trying. I will sort it out.


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