One Day I Will Win

Thursday 14 March, 2002

07.00 E&M 55 mins. Feeling positive if a little tired. Karaj and I had breakfast together and then at lunchtime we shifted the huge and cumbersome fence panels, two of which had blown over during the night. The first two were no problem but the third got stuck as we slid it over the paving stones along the side of the house. As we got it going again the fourth panel blew over onto my head. I immediately knew I had to go to hospital, even before I saw the blood dripping onto my clothes, my shoes and the concrete floor. I sat in A&E for 5½ hours and had six stitches in a deep cut.

Once again, my script has registered its intent. I am doing well and it has to drag me back to my old habits, no matter that I am doing all I can to discard those habits and move on with my life. It is horrible to think that this is my pattern in life but, as I sat patiently waiting for my turn, I knew that I am damned either way. My old life was full of pain and now, as I try to move forward, my script is still causing myself damage. It is that part of me I met in Sicily which does not want to allow me to be successful and well. With this in mind, there is only one way I can move: forward. If I return to my old life I will be in pain in one form or another until I die whereas, if I continue to progress as I have done over the past two years, I will win. One day I will win.

At home I spent some time with Aubrey and then went to bed. Lying in the dark I felt a little scared about what I am doing to myself, the possible consequences of my injury and the implications of my script. So I prayed. I have never found praying as natural as I did tonight and I slept well.

Winning: It Can Happen In An Instant | 300 Days
Related posts: It’s My Script | The Fork In The Road

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