Negativity & Smiling

Monday 18 March, 2002

I woke up feeling negative but talked myself out of it pretty quickly. My back felt very stiff after yesterday’s bucket work. Spent the day on my own, waiting for the carpet men to arrive. Dev phoned and we chatted prior to his interview. Afterwards I sat and thought about the contribution I make to people when I put a smile on their face. I remember Robert telling me that I had made him laugh on the phone at a time when it was precisely what he had needed. This helps me to let go of my negativity because I know I can be funny in other, more appropriate ways.

Francis also called. He told me that my latest letter is one of the best letters he has ever received from anyone. This was great to hear. It was also unexpected because my negativity had not allowed me to own the quality of my work and I had believed the letter to be insufficient. Stop it. It was lovely to hear from him.

In the evening Aubrey arrived to paint under the stairs. I rested my back and when I went to say goodnight I stood chatting with him for 2½ hours. We talked about my work with Karaj and about scripts. I also took the opportunity to tell him how much it has meant to me to live in his house for the last two years. We laughed a lot. I really enjoyed the time with him and I eventually went to bed with a big smile on my face.


One Response to “Negativity & Smiling”

  1. Eveline Says:

    Your smile (and your cheekiness) make SUCH a contribution to this world.

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