Don’t Seek Excitement

Tuesday 2 April, 2002

07.30 40 mins. Initial negativity due to tiredness and stiffness but started work with an urgency not normally shown by me. It served to wake me up and focus myself. Good talks with Karaj about how emotions become an asset when I learn to control them. I do this by living a procedural life and a disciplined life. Don’t seek excitement.

Spoke to Dev and we are both making efforts to focus ourselves, plan and prepare more and use our insights constantly instead of writing them down for reference at a later date.

Felt more in control by being focused and staying aware of the need to plan, reflect, and work. My appraisals are different already. Up until now they have been full of emotion at every opportunity, whereas today the control I have over my life as a result of being focused is already showing through.

I am doing things when they occur to me rather than making a mental note to do them later. I had the opportunity to rest for a while this afternoon but I pressed on with my work and felt empowered as a result.

At the house Karaj and I sat in the garden and chatted. I have done well today and I have related to Karaj differently; I have been more in control of my life and more curious about how Karaj has reacted to the happenings of the day. Back at home I reflected on the day, and that I would have to do the same again tomorrow and for the rest of my life. Also, that I will need to be careful (with my head) because I am doing well.


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