We Can Help Each Other

Saturday 4 May, 2002

Yesterday, in the men’s group, the five youngers (Ishwar, Dev, Calvin, Sunil and me) came together to sort ourselves out. Karaj used Leon’s issue to highlight to us that we are isolated from each other, that we all have the same issues and that we need to support each other fully. That means challenging one another and not letting anyone off the hook to continue in our bad habits. We all think that we are the only ones with problems and that the others are okay. Wrong. We all have issues and we can help each other.

This morning, when we wrote down the 210 jobs which remain in the garden, it emerged that, when I speak, I often create anxiety and tension in people which, when it comes back at me causes me to be defensive and self-righteous. Be aware of this. That’s all I have to do, and the more I become aware of it, the more it will be resolved. The meeting in the afternoon brought home to me just how much in Adapted Child I am. And that I lack vision.

Again the youngers were challenged to come together, support each other, sort ourselves out and grow up. I was challenged about just how much I achieve in my work. I don’t work as hard as I can, I am not proactive, do not take responsibility and have no formalised procedures. I was rocked a little by the challenges but I need them to grow. There is support from the other men and today we built on the resolutions we made in yesterday’s men’s group.

Karaj ended the meeting by telling us we focus on problems rather than our vision. By focusing our energies on the problems, which will always and inevitably come our way, we lose sight of our vision and will never reach our goal. By maintaining focus on the vision, we will get there and we will overcome any problems which arise, because we are committed to achieving our vision.

Karaj – ‘When you get your hands dirty with life, all the fear and anxiety will disappear and you will never look back.

Karaj’s private comments to me at the end of the night were, ‘Well done. I know you’ve had a lot of bollockings but you are doing well.’. I was encouraged by his words.


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