Live In The Problem

Wednesday 15 May, 2002

I went with Sunil to visit his solicitor. The purpose (for me) was to support Sunil in his meeting with the solicitor to clarify legal documents. To make sure he did not withdraw and stayed present, alive and assertive throughout.

What were the problems I was facing and how did I overcome them? Initially, when asked to attend, I was reluctant because I had work to do. I verbalised this to Sunil and told him that I will only join him when I know that I will not worry about the work on my desk.

[Karaj: Live in the problem. You do not have to do anything. You have to live through the problem consciously. In six months when you read this you will know what I mean.]

What was the outcome? Sunil was assertive, made his points clearly and was more alive than he has been for weeks. I enjoyed the opportunity to dress smartly, get out and about and be among people. I carried myself very well throughout the day and, in particular, during the evening’s supervision.

Learning points from the evening session:

  • Don’t analyse my assumed arrogance. Just get on with it, take action and I will be told by the men whether I am arrogant. If I stop to analyse what I think I might be doing, I’m fucked and will make no progress. Use the group support. Take action – this removes the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. [Karaj: Important.]
  • Vision – if I want to be ruthless then I need to be ruthless with myself. There should be no compromise inside myself. [Karaj: One procedure.]

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