Look At What I Want Before I Move

Thursday 16 May, 2002

In this morning’s conversation with Karaj about the Manchester trip it came up that I have not been certain about going. Compare the certainty I have with trips to Germany. My please others driver needs to be addressed. What I have done with this trip – and I do it all the time – is split myself between trying to please two or more parties, without any consideration for what I want.

As a please others I have only ever wanted what others want. This behaviour gets me nowhere and is of no help to any of the people around me, particularly the ones I am trying to please. The solution is to look inside myself and look at what I want before I move.

I did the same two days ago. The resentment I felt about attending to Shona’s mum’s needs was caused by me not attending to my own needs; too eager to serve others and forgetting myself. As Sunil said, Shona’s mum will not respect me if I do not respect myself.


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