What Matters Is What I Do Now

Friday 17 May, 2002

The evening was spent planning the weekend. We wrote everything down on the flip chart so that everybody was clear what needed to be done and when to do it.

I saw that I am unprepared. I felt anxiety about my contribution to Sunil at the ceremony on Saturday. Could I do it? Would it be good enough? Would it be Adapted Child? Also verbalised my agenda item of how to sell myself in Germany in June. Doing so helped me to focus on the brainstorm I need to do before going to the group with ideas. Again, I am unprepared.

Thought: My drive to find things out about the world and to argue has been fuelled by my script of wanting to blame the world – just like my father. This saddened me but then I realised that it doesn’t matter why things have happened. What matters is what I do now. I can turn my life around. The first step is to accept who I am. [Karaj: Good insight.]


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