A Change Of Name

Saturday 18 May, 2002

In the morning I took control, giving instructions to Dev and George as we prepared for the day. Because I knew what needed to be done, I didn’t feel so uneasy giving orders; it is when I am unsure that my problems start.  Talked to Dev about my contribution to the ceremony (Sunil was going to change his name back to the one his original family had given him, rather than the one he was given by his family in England when he came here as a small boy).

It took just a short conversation for me to recall how Sunil’s divorce process has impacted on my own issues with my parents’ divorce as a child. I still felt anxious about whether this would be good enough(!) In the afternoon I saw what this has shown me: that my issues are not exclusive to me. I may be alone on my path but I can share my journey with others and in doing so I benefit. We all benefit.

Sunil became Simran. The ceremony was more relaxed than I had imagined (I had put my perfection on everything and in turn had put pressure on myself). I contributed first after an allowable pause for others to go before me. I thought other’s contributions would be more earth-shattering but they were not. I had worried for nothing (again!). In the de-briefing I started off. Karaj stopped me after a minute and did not return to me. I asked him privately after the session why he had done so. He told me I was going into Adapted Child and that to do so at that time would not be on. I accepted this with no problem and thought that I have no idea how I do it.


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