From Isolation To Contribution

Sunday 26 May, 2002

Woke up feeling under the weather – it was this thought which let in my script and without knowing I isolated myself – preferring to mess about with the broken key in the lock rather than join the others in the garden. Robert returned and sorted it straight away. Karaj challenged me immediately about my isolation and I felt much easier in myself as a result. The fact that I had struggled unsuccessfully with the key was proof that I had wanted to isolate myself – as highlighted by Dev.

I got straight into the work of weeding the grass from Shona’s garden and felt the well-being which the men’s company brings; contrasted with the ‘miserable’ isolation. Dev and Ishwar were having a good interaction next to me as they worked and I felt right at home with my hands in the earth. I told Simran to throw away the T-shirt he was wearing – it was adorned with skeletons – which he did right away.

In the afternoon we (George, Dev, Simran, Ishwar and I) sat to work through Simran’s vision and Ishwar’s vision. Once again, as with last Sunday I felt alive and verbalised whatever came into my head. I contributed to Ishwar, pushing him to verbalise his vision and to write it all down. With Simran I told him he was not going far enough. He was stuck on domestic wiring as a vision until I suggested that he should be designing all sorts (for Ishwar’s property). It was then he began to come alive, realising all the skill he had as an electronics engineer could be put to creative use and he could have fun at the same time.

By this time there was real energy about all of us – and I had helped to create that. George talked about and showed us his meditation stool and together we engaged and came up with ideas all through lunch. We moved onto George and Ishwar and the Welfare for Teachers project; George was energised and the process moved along. Ishwar was subdued throughout. I noticed his tendency to distract us from what he is supposed to be doing, by going into (unnecessary) detail or by moving the focus onto others, in this case George. I was supportive and challenging – as were Dev and Simran – and after staying put to finish the job it emerged that Ishwar does not know what the future of the project is actually about. He seemed to think that there is no service being offered.

In the supervision, Karaj talked to Ishwar about having a place deep inside himself where he knows that here is the right place for him to be, but that between that place and the surface all hell is breaking loose. I understood this. Relax.

He also said that we bring the group onto the next level so that we can handle our individual issues. That is why the focus shifts around from Robert to Dev to me to Simran to Ishwar all the time. We are handling our issues and it will get worse and worse as the magnitude of those issues increases – that is how it works. Again, relax.


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