I Make Things Complicated

Friday 14 June, 2002

Finally got going on Francis’s work issues. The word ‘finally’ in that sentence suggests I have been putting myself under pressure to do something which I was building up to be bigger than it is or needs to be. I make things complicated. We spent an hour talking about Francis’s work issues and I typed notes. We have taken the first step and already Francis is feeling better and has a better handle on what he needs to do.

I reflected on the contrast between my time with Francis and my time with the men’s group. Francis and I are very good friends and have had many fun times together. My relationship with the men in the group is more intense. There is no let up in the challenge and I often feel so under observation and put to the test that I am unable to speak because of my own internal checks on my words, feelings, motivation, intent, ego state, games, etc…

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