Targets

  • Please myself rather than please others
  • Observe and be aware of what is going on around me
  • Verbalise – hear my own voice
  • Pastime
  • Be with people, not isolated
  • Talk about achievements rather than emotions
  • Concentrate on the positives
  • Pace myself rather than rush around
  • Make a decision & stick to it
  • Take responsibility

What I did accomplish and why? (Achievements, Node, Contribution.)

I assisted Robert when he cooked lunch and took an active interest without being ingratiating. I was satisfying myself rather than trying to please Robert, and felt more comfortable with myself as a result. There was an authority about me, which suggested I was in charge; certainly more so than in the past.

I worked well in the garden, and maintained active involvement throughout, enjoying a good working relationship with Robert as we secured the panels with angle iron and chains. In the evening I pushed myself although I was tired, and Simran and I completed the second trench. We also finished off the panel edges very nicely using drainpipe lengths. Simran tempted me into not finishing the job because the materials were not perfect, but I took responsibility for the work and pushed my intentions through. The result was better than any of us had expected and this empowered me and fully justified my decision.

Dev and Ishwar arrived as we were finishing and I was able to ask Ishwar to help me with the washing up. Again I was empowered by the expression on his face when I asked him to help – he was keen to work and pleased at being given something to do.

What I did not achieve and why?

My observations were not particularly good as I kept ‘forgetting’ to observe. At times I was hesitant in making decisions and unsure when I did make them.

Learning points

  • I can take responsibility and people respond favourably when I issue orders – providing I do so with confidence and not from Child Ego State.
  • When I please myself I am much better off and, again, people respond much more favourably. I noticed this with Robert’s attitude toward me – he was more open and friendly than he is when I am in please others mode.
  • So, when I try to please others, I please no-one.
  • You need to work 18 hours a day for three years, and if you don’t change I’ll eat my hat.‘ – Karaj

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