Consistent Support

Saturday 27 July, 2002

From start to finish I have been busy today. I have felt tired all day but I have been aware of it and I functioned very well. It was a subdued group before unloading the wood. Dev suggested it may have something to do with Robert, which made sense to me. I talked to Simran about his withdrawn state. Any verbalisation will do when we are working together because when he relates to me I know he is there and part of the team. Notice that I tend to withdraw too, if I am not aware of Simran sucking me in.

Earlier in the week, I had been a little frustrated with Calvin because he couldn’t make his mind up to leave the house. In the end Karaj drove him home and when he returned he said that Calvin would not get out of the car either. I must not allow people to leave in the evening unless they have done their appraisals. Take this opportunity to instill discipline in others. Today I was firmer with Calvin and brought the other men in to support me. Later, Ishwar reminded Calvin that he is working with social services for his son, not to please his wife. So, Ishwar and I are complimenting each other in providing consistent support to Calvin.

In the evening after the discussion on appraisals, we analysed the contract matrix from last week. I am negative but I have had a symbiotic relationship with Robert, a father figure. Now that he is no longer in the group I will progress. I have already felt that this week. Karaj said my negativity is being challenged. The best thing I can do is relax and be calm and eventually it won’t be mentioned or even noticed.


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