No Choice But To Carry On

Monday 16 September, 2002

Karaj and I chatted in the garden, warmed gently by the early morning sunshine. ‘If you survive the next year, you’ll be flying.’ He told me my to-do list is the reference for what happens in the office. I felt the pressure on me when Karaj said this and I verbalised it. The point is, I need only to get on with my work and see that it will have an effect on my environment, just like my appraisals have.

He added, ‘When you see the contribution you make to others you have no choice but to carry on.‘ Karaj also fed back to me that my face is changing: I don’t look as cocky as I have been. I am clearly going through deep changes.

We worked until midnight on BACP documents ensuring that the overall picture of having an efficient manual for the hearing is attained. I started off making Karaj nervous by reacting to his own need to get things done by trying to hurry up. When I was systematic, however, things ran smoothly.

Summary: From start to finish I have been busy today and the time has flown by. I have seen my negativity and chosen a different route. I took the initiative in talking to people at yoga, provided support for Dev on his way through, and made more progress in not taking Karaj’s comments personally.


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